I updated my ‘About Me’ and my description box. haha :))
Seriously, our internet is pissing me off since last night. Argh. Stupid weather. Fuck. >:|
Omg its already 2:30am. Fuuuuu. I blame Chord and Harry for this. Lol :))))
Good night/morning/afternoon/day, loves! :*
So what I’m getting from Chord and Harry’s tweets is that Mchalowitz really happened. Asdghjkl
I really need to vent this one out right now, so excuse this “overdramatic” post if you may. Im using my tablet right now, so i cant put this in read more.
Anyway, these past few days, I’ve been depressed. It’s not that kind of depression that you can overcome quickly. And the worst part is that, since im on vacation, my closest friends are not with me to cheer me up. Yes, I’ve tried other ways to overcome. Idk if youve noticed, but I tried updating my blog just like I used to before, I tried to watch youtube videos, I tried writing fics again. I tried everything just to take my mind out of the gutter, but nothing worked. I’ve reached my limit last NYE. I swore that I wouldn’t entertain suicidal thoughts ever again. I swore I wouldn’t cut ever again. But fuck, I just cant take this anymore. I know that I have a bright future ahead of me, but Idk, I cant take this anymore. All my life, I have done everything just to protect my family’s “reputation”. All my life, I always obeyed every fucking thing that they wanted me to do, and wanted me to be, even though some of those are against my will. They’ve been deprived me from freedom. Yes, they do give me material things that I want. But in return, I am not allowed to do things freely. Sometimes, I feel like my friends think that I’m inventing things. Because sometimes, their control is out of this world. Idk what to do with my life anymore. I am so sick and tired of everything that’s going on. I am not writing this one to ask for sympathy, I just really need to vent this because I’d be going crazy if I’d continue overthinking this shit.
So I’m at my dad’s office right now, because it’s their Christmas party, and I have no choice but to come here. Ugh. And now he’s a bit drunk atm, which means that he can’t drive me back home. I’m kinda panicking. Ugh. I wanna go home. I’m sooo bored. Their internet connection here sucks, and idk, I just don’t feel mingling with the people here right now. I can’t wait to go home and chat with Emma and Wynnie. :))